I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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