apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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