Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize