after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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