i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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