Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
