Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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