Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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