Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
