So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
