Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
