If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
