My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
