omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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