That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
