He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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