its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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