Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize