Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
