I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
