Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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