just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
