ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You're like the curious george of whores
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
