Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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