I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
