She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
