I cockslap morals
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Vodka?
Forever.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
