did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
