if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
