I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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