You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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