I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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