Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
How naked do you want me to be?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
