I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
