After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize