So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
