"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
love makes seman taste better
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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