I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
