You're my little dorito
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
