Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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