i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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