I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
