going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My feet surprised me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
