Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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