i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
