Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize