We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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