Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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