I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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