I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
