I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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