I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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