His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
