just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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