I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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