Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
