I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
