I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
