Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
