my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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