I could make wine with my vomit
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
how drunk are you?
Several
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
