'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
