Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
