***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
