Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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