I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
