No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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