Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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