I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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