Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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